alien nation

nifty title, dammit. 

After getting permission from Alan Dean Foster, I shall write my next novel: ALIEN NATION. It opens with a boy, thirteen maybe, contemplating his reflection in the bedroom mirror. It's early. His favorite song, Traffic's The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys, plays in the background.

He's a scrawny kid with dyed jet black hair, blue eyes ringed by black eyeliner and mascara, wearing skivvies and a white tank top. The kid is holding a gun to his head. What's the alternative? If there is one, he doesn't see it. He doesn't fit in so he's checking out.

As a writer, I can relate in that writing is, by default, a solitary thing, an alienating thing, and yet we're trying to find our way, navigate through, make our mark. We're searching for our proper place. We want to be accepted. Respected. We want to matter to somebody.

A lot of somebodies.

I started a thread relative to that on aye-dub, last year was it? It's been an issue with me since pretty much always. You put yourself out there, put yourself out there and then you wait. Hoping somebody responds. Talking as a writer now, hoping somebody reads the damn thing and when you're met with silence, you start wondering, What the hell, man? Is anybody reading my shit? Does anybody even give a shit?

The stuff I write doesn't quite fit the "norm," if there is such a thing. Maybe not, but that's been the general consensus from people who've read my novels. Thinking about CHERRY now, I have to believe there's a place for it, an audience for it. Best case scenario: it transcends arbitrarily-ascribed perameters (whatever they are); touches a nerve, finds an audience which enthusiastically responds to the novel, proving its viability/validity/value, which means, (extrapolating) that what I wrote actually matters; (further extrapolating) meaning, by default, that I actually matter.

Is that selfish? I dunno, ask that boy.

Never mind. The question was rhetorical and anyway, what did I write in that AW thread? This is me doubting myself, which is something I have done consistently, which is self-defeating and ridiculous. Not in Courier, of course. That's just wrong. My point is, writing, like living, is often a solitary endeavor. The very act of writing alienates us from our intended audience. What's the alternative? 

Don't answer that.

Virtual Perpetuality

"Hello?" 

She asks that question to the Universe, having just checked her emails for any sign of life. She had such high hopes, reflected in the day's breaking dawn: crisp and clear, fresh and full of promise. . . 

Actually, it's nippy and kind of cloudy out, and I woke sluggish and out of sorts after sleeping nearly twelve hours to which I say Holy crap, where's my coffee?  I guess I needed it, but that's not the point. The point is, my novel CHERRY is in a state of virtual perpetuality right now. I'm waiting to hear back from a few publishers and a certain agent.

A little backround.

I wrote CHERRY, my fourth novel, then sufficiently shredded the thing based on some amazing beta reader comments and suggestions. I put it back together again, moving chapters, adding new stuff, then I refined it, tweaked it and tweaked it and tweaked it some more, and finally declared it *done*.

Fool that I was.

I shall not bore you, my ersatz readers, with my harrowing tale of woe relative to drafting my query letter for CHERRY. Should anyone be interested, you may peruse my personal journey through Query Letter Hell over on AbsoluteWrite *here* . It started last April (I'm talking 2012) and ended last month. Long story short, I worked that puppy to death, realized CHERRY wasn't done yet, reworked the novel then sent it to betas again, then started from scratch with the query and finally declared both ready to roll.

Novel and query complete, I tentatively sent forth a few queries--six, to be exact. Five to independent publishers and one to an agent. I shall speak more of my reasoning behind going the indie route in another blog thingie. Suffice to say, I thought it was prudent to do so, considering a lot of things, not the least of which is CHERRY's subject matter. As for that lone agent, I found him after a bout of extensive research. I'm not suggesting he was difficult to find--actually, he's well-known, well-respected, owns the agency. The process was extensive only because I made it so, because I tend to do that, because I'm--

Fodder for another blog thingie, perhaps.

Back to it: of the five indies, two have responded thus far; both, within days of sending my query, and both requesting fulls. Endless possibilities danced inside my little pea brain and made me giddy. THEN, barely two days after sending my query to the agent, I received an email from him requesting the first few chapters. Oh joy! Rapture! I sent him the first five chapters then commenced to doing the happy dance, which lasted a week, maybe.

Then harsh reality set in, as it tends to do. Truth is, I may be waiting for a while. I may never hear back. (I shall not mention the harshest reality: that, even if I do hear back, chances of anything actually *happening* are slim. I won't mention that because I'll just get depressed and it ain't even 7 a.m. yet and I ain't even finished my first cuppa joe yet.)

Bottom line is this: Today is June 9, 2013, and I am waiting to hear from two indie publishers and one fine literary agent. I know, I know, it's only been a month--four weeks, that's peanuts in the novel submission waiting game, patience is a virtue my God stop your whining just give it a rest but the waiting is

q & a

Who do I think I am?

Funny you should ask.
Post number two and I've been thinking, which is always a crap shoot. Anyhoo, I was thinking that maybe them of you that's checking out this here blog might wonder who the heck you're dealing with.

Ergo, 10 questions, asked and answered by yours truly. Ready?

1. So, kk, tell us a little bit about yourself.

Not a question but I shall respond anyway because I'm a narcissist. Not really. Actually, I'm an introverted extrovert, born in Massachusetts, raised in S.E. Michigan. I still reside here. Four siblings, three sisters and an older brother. My dad died when I was four, suddenly and on his 30th b-day, all quite tragic but we muddled through. We were poor growing up but not on welfare. My mother got a job as a waitress then put herself through college, got her Masters and a great job with the DOD. My brother and two of my sisters graduated from U of M. I did, too. 

I put myself through college washing dishes. Worked as a graphic artist, worked for Chrysler's on various assembly lines, taught early elementary. Had to take a medical retirement because of a ridiculous accident: I fell off a chair, fractured my foot, 7 screws and I was walking funny, hence back trouble. Two lumbar fusions later I found myself looking at a speeding semi coming at me, wondering if I should turn the wheel to the left. . .

I didn't. Instead, I started to write and the rest, as they say--

2. We said "a bit."

My bad. 

3. You write children's books?

Nope. Not even. I'd say my first four novels are psychological suspense thingies, the one I'm working on now is pretty much suspense. None fit the genres neat and tidy, though. And some people tell me I write literary fiction. I don't know about that. 

4.  You've written four novels, huh?

Yep. Working on number five, like I said. I bet you're wondering how long I've writing. Couple of years now.

5. How old are you, kk?

To borrow from Santa Clause (in Miracle on 34th Street), I'm as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth. I don't look wizened or anything. My hair is brown and past my shoulders. Eyes are hazel. I like jeans, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt right now and I have to change pretty quick, I'm sweating like a pig right now.

6. What do you do for fun?

I'm passionate about writing, that's for sure. I like to draw, I've tried my hand at painting and I ain't bad. I love to travel--I've been to England and Italy, Mexico, All over the U.S. I love old things, antiques and stuff, I thank my Grampa for that. My kitty Max gives me all kinds of joy. Love my family, my husband's a keeper. Actually, he is my first love--

7. TMI.

Well, poo.

8. Are you going to talk about writing at any point?

Yeah. Eventually, I do believe I shall do that, just to make you happy. We aim to please.

9. Do you consider yourself a good writer?

When I'm feeling jacked about something I've written, yes. When I'm down in the dumps, no. I vaccilate between KK kicks ass and KK sucks buttermilk.

10. You are mildly entertaining. Aside from that, why should we follow your shiny new blog?

Because I'm needy. Pathetically needy and I love you more than your mudder. I shall do my best to please you, whilst pleasing myself. Not pleasuring myself, them's two different animals so gitcher mind outta da guttah, people. This is a PG establishment (until it ventures into R and X). Not X, but I'm going to swear sometimes, okay? You may want to prepare yourselves for that. . .

anybody reads this, i shall shit my pants. . .

Lord have mercy.

This is my first blog. Actually, I started one before, can't remember where or how or what. The point is moot. I'm nervous as hell. Thank you for visiting.

Are you there?

Christ, what the hell am I doing?

Tell you what I'm doing. I am being a smart and savvy writer. Thinking ahead to the time when my book is gonna get published, right? And my agent will say, "Ms. K, we are getting it out there for you but you, my dear, are going to do your civic duty as well. You shall do everything in your power to promote the piss out of your new book. In your blog, for starters. And you shall do that blog-hop business. And post some nifty links, too, like AgentQuery and and QueryTracker and Miss Snark's First Victim, Grammar Girl's still doing her thing. And AbsoluteWrite, amazing. I shall talk about that, presuming I am not speaking into a black hole of nothingness, oh shit. . .

I am new at this but I shall endeavor to do my best. Not sure what that means at this point, nor what it entails. Time will tell, I'm thinking. If you really are there, thank you for visting me and my shiny new blog.

~kk