Thursday, June 13, 2013

this too shall pass.

please mr. fantasy, send me an email. . . 
I read your first five chapters of CHERRY, kk. How long have you been writing again? Just a couple of years? Wow. Well, I'm really impressed and I definitely want to read the rest of your novel. Send it as an attachment, attention me. Personally, yep. . .
Like a backhand across the face. What the hell happened?
He read my query and liked it enough to ask for the first few chapters. He read the chapters and took a pass. Nope. No thanks. Good luck and all that. An email, just a couple of lines, succinct, professional.
It knocked me on my ass.
Intellectually, as soon as I read that email I was working it, putting a positive spin on it. Patting myself on the back for making it that far. Telling myself he's only one agent. It wasn't meant to be, that's all. I know CHERRY's good, I just need to find the right fit and I will, it's just a matter of time.
But emotionally, I was wrecked yesterday. Funny how fast one can slip into that sickening, self-indulgent mode: it's crap/I suck. . .
Today I'm sorting through my feelings. Tossing the most ridiculous maudlin shit which serves absolutely no purpose. Filing assorted bits and pieces of the experience away--just in case, for future reference. Stepping back, putting the thing in perspective.
I considered marshalling the troops today, meeting my disappointment head on, searching and querying. But I decided to give myself time. As David Brandt says, I need to process this, so I shall allow myself a couple of days to digest that email, let it work it's way through my system. I shall absorb what's of value and shite the rest.
Yep. This too shall pass.

4 comments:

SFF Madman said...

I've been there, from numerous rejections over the past fourteen years. Some just never bothered to reply at all. Once and editor Weird Tales sent me a very long and considerate rejection for a short story, praising my writing and my research, and describing exactly what I needed to fix to make it publishable. But that's very rare...and you can't resubmit the same story to the same magazine! Subsequent editors turned down the revised version, too.

JeffO said...

It's the good news, bad news of getting requests. I think the one that was worse for me was the agent who sat on my full for nine months, then rejected me, essentially telling me, "I didn't finish this yet, and I know I'm not going to, so good luck." Slap!

Anonymous said...

I know how much it hurts. You are a good writer, you just need to find the agent who is right for you and your book. I hope it happens soon . . . Peace

kkbe said...

SFF, JeffO, and Joni, thank you guys. I very much appreciate you taking the time to read and share and send good thoughts.

Perhaps we are all in that same drifting boat, waiting for somebody to pluck us from there and set us on our proper path.
At least whilst we wait, we ain't waiting alone.